"Grief is like glitter. You can throw a handful of it in the air, but when you try to clean it up you will never get it all. Even long after the event, you will still find glitter tucked in the corners. It will always be there...somewhere"
I have loved this quote for quite sometime, it really resonates with me. For one I actually can't stand glitter, it is pretty but hat the mess of it. It was always a running joke with our nurses and speech therapist. The other is that this is very much a reflection of how living with grief is. One minute you are fine, the next you could be crying or expressing some from of emotion for what seems like no reason at all. Today is one of those days, glitter is everywhere and for this day I am not going to try to clean it up or push it aside.
Below is a letter we wrote to Addison.......
A letter to our daughter……..
It is quite hard to believe that you have been gone for 3 years or 1,095 days, it seems like forever and yet the time has also flown by. You would be turning 14 this summer which is crazy! I wonder how your smile would look now, and the sound of your laugh, if your brother could still bring out the best smiles and laugh, if Daddy could still look at you just right and you would let out the happiest squeal. We miss our dance parties, our morning snuggles, swinging outside, the endless amount of crafts and books. I wonder which book series we would be reading now, or how many more stories and works of art we would have come up with. There is so much more we miss, and we are so thankful that we remember your smile that could brighten up a room, the way you snuggled right into our necks, and your cute little snores!
We recently took a trip to Mystic, Connecticut to visit the aquarium and the most beautiful Beluga whales, Owen of course had to bring home a stuffy so yours wouldn’t be lonely. We were in awe watching the beauty and grace of the Beluga’s and couldn’t help but think about how much you would have loved them, we could have sat and watched them swim around for hours. It reminded me of the first time we saw Belugas swimming around, you were not yet born and we felt a sort of connection with these whales. We came home with a stuffy for you (your first) . We had no idea it would be your favorite, and never went anywhere without it. Now Beluga has a friend.
We have become different people than we were 3 years ago, how could we not, we’ve been through so much! We hope you would be happy with all that we have accomplished and continue to accomplish in your memory. The impact you have created will last forever, just today a friend reached out about a teaching moment with you in mind.
We miss you more than words can say, and we wish for one more smiles or laugh, but we do see the beauty you left behind in a gentle breeze, or the flutter of a passing butterfly, the smile on Owen’s face or laugh when daddy makes one of his pun’s or “Dad” jokes. We will continue to see the beauty you left us each and everyday! We love you so very much!
Love,
Mommy, Daddy and Owen
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