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  • Writer's picturetdube1979@gmail

Honoring You "Babygirl"

"Please take a moment to read these beautiful words by Jessica Watson @ Four Plus An Angel"

“The best way I can describe grieving over a child as the years go by is to say it’s similar to carrying a stone in your pocket.

When you walk, the stone brushes against your skin. You feel it. You always feel it. But depending on the way you stand or the way your body moves, the smooth edges might barely graze your body.

Sometimes you lean the wrong way or you turn too quickly and a sharp edge pokes you. Your eyes water and you rub your wound but you have to keep going because not everyone knows about your stone or if they do, they don’t realize it can still bring this much pain.

There are days you are simply happy now, smiling comes easy and you laugh without thinking. You slap your leg during that laughter and you feel your stone and aren’t sure whether you should be laughing still. The stone still hurts.

Once in a while you can’t take your hand off that stone. You run it over your fingers and roll it in your palm and are so preoccupied by it’s weight, you forget things like your car keys and home address. You try to leave it alone but you just can’t. You want to take a nap but it’s been so many years since you’ve called in “sad” you’re not sure anyone would understand anymore or if they ever did.

But most days you can take your hand in and out of your pocket, feel your stone and even smile at its unwavering presence. You’ve accepted this stone as your own, crossing your hands over it, saying “mine” as children do.

You rest more peacefully than you once did, you’ve learned to move forward the best you can. Some days you want to show the world what a beautiful memory you’re holding. But most days you twirl it through your fingers, smile and look to the sky. You squeeze your hands together and hope you are living in a way that honors the missing piece you carry, until your arms are full again.” © Jessica Watson

Gorgeous piece written by Jessica Watson at Four Plus An Angel. 🦋

I came across this piece yesterday, and it struck every cord with Dave and I. This is to put simply so hard living everyday with that stone in our pocket. Some days we are completely fine, we smile and appreciate the presence, others it pokes us and we tear up for what seems like no reason. Our son is realizing more and more that he too is carrying a stone, that he wasn't aware of. We are approaching Addison's 2nd anniversary of her passing, thinking time would help, but even for us its important to remember that stone in our pockets, and it is not going anywhere, and right now it hurts, as it does from time to time.

I do believe that we are honoring Addison in a way that would make her smile so bright, the way she always did. We are keeping her memory alive through our events, fundraising efforts, and the kindness of strangers willingness to help. We are helping other families through trying times, that we have gone through too many times to count. We are putting smiles on faces through crafts, a new book to read, toy to play with, yoga mats to be able to unwind, and yummy treats on occasion. We will continue to help in these ways, and more, knowing Addison's memory/legacy is helping others heal.

If you want to get involved, donate or learn more please visit our Get Involved page on the website or send us a message. Donations can also be made through Venmo @foundationbabygirl.

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